Category: Red Bull

An ode to Red Bull.

Red Bull: The ambrosia of the gods.

Red Bull: The ambrosia of the gods.

I love Red Bull. More than is strictly healthy. I have composed an ode to celebrate my love for it:

Our Red Bull which art in a tin,
freezing be thy served;
thy fragrance come;
thy energy be done;
in the body as it is in the can.
Give us this day our daily caffeine
and forgive us Mother and V,
as we forgive those who drinketh of the V.
And lead us not to drink Lift Plus
and deliver us from Tea drinks
For thine is the flavour,
the power, and the glory,
for a very long time.

Blasphemy? You know damn right.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have a bit of an unhealthy obsession with what this guy is doing. Jumping from 120,000 feet, reaching Mach 1 and free-falling for more than 5 minutes is cool. Very cool.

Actually, pretty much everything about this project is cool, the mission, the tech, the numbers.

In the video below they have some info about the really cool space suit being developed for this project. Awesome.

Check out the official project website at: and the project news at:

When using a pack, llamas can carry about 25% to 30% of their body weight for several miles.

If you had been paying attention, you will know that I am a Red Bull fanboy. I love (and live on) the 200ml of delicious caffeinated goodness and Fridays call for a special celebration (because it’s Friday and you survived another bloody week…).

Also, it does help that Red Bull is such a freaking cool company and I like freaking cool, a lot. They sponsor a lot of extreme sports and insanely crazy shit. How crazy? Take this little project for example:

Red Bull Stratos:

Basically, Red Bull and Felix Baumgartner have put together a plan to skydive from, wait for it, 120 000 feet. One hundred and twenty thousand feet or about 36 576 meters. To put that number into perspective, that is 4.5 times higher than Everest, four times higher than a commercial airliner flies, about the distance between Johannesburg and Pretoria, straight up. They take a huge helium balloon up to altitude and then Felix just… steps off into the dead quiet. The only way Felix will be able to tell if he’s falling in the deafening silence is the receding balloon…

The free fall portion is expected to last for about 5 minutes 35 seconds and the entire trip about 15 minutes from when he steps off till he touches down. The planners expect his maximum speed to pass 1 100km per hour, or Mach 1.0

How, freaking, cool, is, that? Very freaking cool. Very.

The world’s highest skydive is something I have been interested in and that I have followed for… a long time, almost as long as I wanted to skydive, which must have been since around the time I started to walk. My chance  to try skydiving came around when I was about 19 or 20. I did 13 jumps before money and bad weather took the wind from my canopy and I can honestly say that jumps number two and thirteen were the most terrifying things I have ever done. Jump number two because you then know what’s going to happen and number thirteen because it was my third jump on that day and my first free fall. Besides for sky diving, I love roller coasters, flying, jumping, hiking, climbing and the idea of everything extreme.

I’ve always had the dream to have the record for the highest skydive and I guess I still have a bit of time left. If Felix manages 120k feet, I guess I’ll just aim for a 140k feet. Right? Right.

Anyway, I hope he does manage it, because it’s freaking cool and I like it when people do freaking cool things, especially dressed in blue, silver and pink.

Drink Red Bull – It’s freaking cool.

Seriously go check out the site, there is a lot of interesting information about the suit, the balloon, the guy, the tech: (You need to have Silverlight installed though)

Commonly unknown, llamas do not have eyelashes. However, their cousin the alpaca does.

I love Red Bull. Vocally. A lot.

I have a Red Bull almost every day (in the morning) and I have had a Red Bull in 9 different countries. I have had Red Bull without Vodka and Red Bull with Vodka.

I can’t really say why I love Red Bull so much but I have a suspicion it has something to do with the excellently exquisite taste, attractive packaging and the fact that it is probably the coolest brand in the world. I love ‘adventure’ sports almost as much as I love Red Bull (which is to say, a lot).

I mean, can you think of another brand that have such cool Mini convertible sales vehicles? No, you can’t. Red Bull also have an F1 team and an AH-1F Cobra helicopter. You sure you got that? They have an AH-1F Cobra helicopter. Made of Win. Along with Google, they pwn me.

They also have four football clubs, a NASCAR racing team and a hockey team. And they sponsor people who do crazy shit; skydiving, channel crossings, skiing, cliff jumping, base jumping, climbing. Win. Everywhere.

Red Bull may be a bit pricey, but honestly, who wouldn’t take out a couple of bucks to get the best? Nobody, that’s who.

What I find really interesting is when people warn me of the health hazards of drinking Red Bull. I find it a little strange and perhaps just a little hypocritical. Allegedly, drinking a Red Bull a day may be bad for me. Perhaps. I drink a Red Bull every day, followed by 2 litres of water. I drink virtually no coffee or tea or anything else for that matter. I don’t smoke, don’t drink, exercise every day and I don’t do any drugs. And you, who does smoke, drink, drink coffee and get no exercise  feel you can advise me as to the dangers that 200ml of soft drink hold for me? Seriously. Research much?

I aspire to one day be given money from Red Bull. Possibly when I am a famous blogger they will appreciate my relentless plugging of their product. Perhaps when I try to break the world record for most skydives in a day they will sponsor me. Ok, I’ll settle for some branded clothing dammit. A shirt perhaps?

This post should have been on Friday, since Friday is the holy Red Bull day, celebrated with a cold can of Red Bull. Hamish insists that you do.

Thank Hamish For Red Bull. THFRB.

Some of the fossil llamas were much larger than current forms. Some species remained in North America during the last ice ages. North American llamas are categorized as a single extinct genus, Hemiauchenia.
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