Jesus and the Easter bunny.

Jesus. Because believing in the Easter Bunny is just silly.

So. Easter. I wasn’t going to bother writing about it but here I am. The idiocy is so thick in the air I just can’t help myself.

Easter. What is it?

It’s a mid-spring pagan festival co-opted by Christianity, pretty much like every other Christian holiday and ritual. Yea, Christians, followers of the most unoriginal creator of the universe imaginable, might (or might not) be surprised to know that the whole death and resurrection thing is in fact quite a bit older than the badly recorded travesty that they’re fawning over this weekend – where I am forced to see it. And be reminded of just how much ridiculousness people actually claim to believe. (Edit: check out Easter isn’t a Christian holiday either at Atheism Resource)

So, the plagiarism aside, what’s Christian Easter about? Let me tell you.

Easter is the celebration of the torture, execution, temporary ‘death’ and resurrection of the human incarnation of the creator of the universe. The omniscient, omnipotent, omnibenevolent creator of the universe, God if you will, needed to have himself tortured and temporarily killed by his errant creations so that he could be convinced to create a loop-hole in the rules he created himself so that he could be convinced to forgive his creations for being the way he created them, having known how they would turn out before he created them, so that he wouldn’t be forced by himself to torture them for eternity.

Seriously. It’s THAT ludicrous. I have some questions:

  • God is omnipotent – why didn’t he just forgive people without having himself tortured and temporarily killed?
  • God is omniscient – if he knows everything to be known, he knows he’s going to be resurrected less than 72 hours later. How is that a sacrifice? It’s not even an inconvenience for an almighty super being.
  • God is omnibenevolent – why does he torture people for eternity?
  • God is omnipotent – why not just unmake Satan?
  • God is omniscient – if he knows a person is going to be bad before he creates them and that he will be torturing them for eternity… how is that unlike breeding cats for the sole purpose of burning them alive?

Dear merciful Christ, why are people so incredibly stupid? But thanks for the public holidays, appreciate it.

Always! Be awesome.